Every GM eventually encounters a “difficult” player. Maybe it’s the rules lawyer who debates every call, the spotlight hog who dominates every scene, or the perpetual contrarian whose favorite word is “no.” You might worry will this derail the game, or can it be turned around? With the right approach, you can keep your table fun, fair, and welcoming for everyone, including yourself.
1. Identify the Root Cause
Not all difficult players are out to ruin your fun. Sometimes, frustration bubbles up from unclear expectations, feeling left out, or mismatched play styles. Before taking action, ask yourself:
- Is the player bored or disengaged?
- Are they confused about the rules or the story?
- Is there a mismatch between what they want and what the rest of the table wants?
A quick one-on-one chat (even via text) can do wonders. “Hey, I noticed you seemed frustrated last session, anything I can do to help?” opens the door to honest feedback.
2. Set Clear Expectations
Session zero isn’t just about character creation. It’s a golden opportunity to lay out ground rules:
- How will disagreements be handled?
- What’s the tone of the game: serious, silly, gritty?
- Are there any table rules (no phones, keep side conversations brief, etc.)?
If you skipped a session zero, it’s never too late to check in and revisit expectations. When everyone understands the boundaries, most issues melt away.
3. Address Problems Privately (and Early)
Public call-outs can embarrass a player and put everyone on edge. Instead, handle sensitive issues privately. Be calm, specific, and kind.
- Avoid: “You’re always causing trouble.”
- Try: “I noticed you interrupted a few times last session, and it made it hard for others to contribute. Can we work together on this?”
Addressing issues early keeps resentment from building and shows you care about everyone’s enjoyment.
4. Redirect, Don’t Confront
Some players act out because they want to engage, but don’t know how. Give them constructive roles:
- The “rules lawyer” could help you look up mechanics (with boundaries—final call is still yours).
- The “spotlight hog” can be given moments to shine, then gently shifted aside to let others have the floor.
- The “contrarian” might love moral dilemmas or puzzles—give them a challenge, but keep the story moving.
Channeling energy into positive contributions helps the group dynamic.
5. Use Table Tools
Safety tools aren’t just for content warnings: they help everyone feel heard.
Consider:
- X-card: For stopping uncomfortable scenes.
- Talking stick/Token: Only the person holding it speaks, encouraging mindful participation.
- Stars & Wishes: At the end of a session, everyone shares what they loved and what they hope for, keeping feedback positive.
6. Know When to Say Goodbye
If a player persistently violates boundaries, disrespects others, or refuses to collaborate after multiple conversations, it’s okay to ask them to leave. Your table is a shared space, and everyone deserves respect, including you.
Be direct but compassionate: “We’ve talked a few times, but it doesn’t seem like this game is a good fit. I wish you the best at other tables.”
Final Thoughts
Every group and every player is different. Most “problem” players just need guidance, patience, and a chance to understand how they fit at your table. As the GM, your role is part storyteller, part referee, and sometimes part mediator. Practice empathy, communicate clearly, and remember: your fun matters, too!
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